Saturday, March 06, 2010

Shaken, not stirred

I’m not known in any circles for being debonair (might have something to do with me not being mallu).  Yesterday, there was a charity event to collect donations to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti. The event’s Facebook page clearly stated the importance of wearing formal attire and that set off alarm signals in my head for a couple of reasons:

1. I do not possess a suit.

2. I do not know how to tie a tie.

In my 3 and a half years at college, I’ve learnt to survive on Michelina’s Budget Gourmet Homestyle Macaroni & Cheese which I feel is a far greater accomplishment then learning how to tie a tie. So I’m not embarrassed – my troubles might actually inspire the velcro tie industry (if it doesn’t exist already).

I luckily had a blazer to kinda make up for the lack of a suit. Taking care of the tie situation required a little more creativity. I had bought a men’s scarf at Gap last year, much to my friends’ amusement. I knew it would come in use some day, and yesterday was that day. Here is John Krasinksi trying to look like me:

john-gap(2)
Damn, Emily Blunt just stopped my train of thought.

Ok, I’m back. Getting back to last night, the event was at the Hilton in downtown Austin (that’s right) and it was a stark contrast to how my Friday evenings are usually spent – eating Mirch Masala’s dum aloo with Kawan’s ready made chappathis. Oh, and a glass of Minute Maid orange juice. (Disclaimer: I do not get paid by these companies for including them in my blog post. My blog’s 5 hits/day view count is considered a deal-breaker.) Since this Friday night was unlike most, I probably should have got myself a martini at the bar, just to keep up the appearance that I was going for. I’m sure it would have panned out like this:

Bartender: What can I get you?
Me: A martini, please.
Random hot girl at the bar: I don’t think I’ve met you before. I’m [random hot girl’s name]. You are?
Me: Shekar, Niyantha Shekar.
Bartender: Shaken or stirred, Mr. Shekar?
Me: You tell me.
Bartender: Shaken, it is.
[random hot girl at the bar swoons due to the awesomeness of it all]

What can I say, I dream big.

P.S: My latest article for Nazar –> http://nazaronline.net/arts/2010/03/alliance/. It’s a short story.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well dreamt Mr Shekar. "My blog's 5 hits/day view point is considered a deal-breaker."I really like your sense of humour.
Amas

Anonymous said...

Niyantha..total kalakalls. I loved your humor in this post.
Devi
P.S. Random Hot girlku Hi Sollu!

Dr. K Bodhi :D said...

"Kawan’s ready made chappathis"

Have you tried their flaky ones? Those are the Malaysian parathas. I strongly recommend those.

And if you are going for normal once I would suggest the one's in white cover. I forget the name. I will look in my fridge and let you know later.

-Psuedo housewife

atleastintheory said...

nicely done. or dreamed, rather :D but i was under the impression that you had a similar signature phrase at starbucks. something about a mocha frapp...?

neon said...

@anons,

thanks much!

@dr.kbodhi,

Tried only their regular ones, and yes do let me know the name of the white cover ones

@atleastintheory,

Oh yes, I have a signature phrase there too- 'Tall Mocha Frappucino - Double Blended' I haven't had one of those in a while though, lattes are better at the job of keeping me up