Sunday, April 05, 2009

India, This Past Fortnight (IV)

Originally published on Nazar ( on April 5th. Click here to see it on Nazar (it comes with pictures (which I'm too lazy to put here)).

The star of ground-breaking movies such as Mujhe Kuch Kehna Hai, Khushi and Chup Chup Ke, Kareena Kapoor, recently said “I’d go on a holiday than do a bad film”1.

Donations for the ‘Kareena-Please-Go-On-A-Holiday Fund’ are now being collected.

The soon-to-be released economy car, the Tata Nano, has captured the imagination of Indians of all ages. A 96 year old Indian woman, Homi Vyayarwalla, was quoted as saying, “Given my age and weakness, I need a simple vehicle. The car looks easy to drive and comfortable to travel in, which is what people want in my age”2.

Well, compared to her first car (pictured below), the Nano must be quite a tempting buy.

The Indian Premier League (IPL), touted to be second in importance only to world peace, has been shifted to South Africa. Indian Home Minister, P. Chidambaram, couldn’t guarantee sufficient security arrangements due to the IPL coinciding with India’s general elections. Arun Jaitley, of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP), has called this development “shameful”3. He also hit out on the Home Minister, saying “Chidambaram has one and half months left in his hand, so he should concentrate more on his job”.

Mr. Jaitley, looking out for the nation’s security is his job.

The general Lok Sabha elections are fast approaching in India, and as a result, this is the season for WTF lines from men and women masquerading as half-baked politicians. Mulayam Singh Yadav, of the Samajwadi Party, was recently incensed when a District Magistrate canceled the gun licenses of many of his party workers. He said in a rally, “I am not saying anything to you Madam DM, because you are a woman. I respect you because you are a woman. Better behave yourself.”4

Before you jump to any conclusions, he’s insulting her solely out of the respect he has for her womanhood.

The Election Commission in India, responsible for ensuring fairness in the election process, has disallowed the BJP government in Karnataka from distributing free bicycles to school students. Their reason - “students are not voters”5.

Yes, political parties are only allowed to buy the support of those over the age of 18.

It is the time for politicians to bring down their political opponents and BJP senior leader, Venkaiah Naidu, intends to do that in rhyme. He was quoted as saying, “PM presides, madam (Congress President Sonia Gandhi) decides”6, and “Congress assurance has no insurance”7.

It looks like Navjot Singh Sidhu8 has had a lasting impact on the BJP.

There has been a lot of political and public uproar ever since a CD containing a hate speech allegedly made by Varun Gandhi, the BJP candidate from Pilibhit, came to light. Renowned public nuisance and head of the Sri Ram Sena, Pramod Muthalik, has thrown his weight behind Varun Gandhi saying, “He has the guts to speak the truth. Sri Rama Sena would support him. I think every true Hindu would support him”9.

Muthalik, shut up.

To read more ‘India, This Past Fortnight’, click here.

1 -–Events/Features/Quotable-Quotes-of-the-Week/articleshow/msid-4293719,curpg-9.cms
2 -
3 -
4 -
5 -
6 -
7 -
8 - Navjot Singh Sidhu is a former Indian Cricketer and television commentator who ran on a BJP ticket in 2004. He was well known for his word-play, commonly known as ‘Sidhuisms’.
9 -


Idling in Top Gear said...

Excellent form, neon!

Anonymous said...

Very funny Niyantha! This column is really picking up speed. The pictures in Nazar are very nice.

Ram said...

Brilliant! One of your very best. Honestly, I dint know you were this funny.

Neon said...


Thanks :)


Yes, I do know how to market Nazar :P


Thanks! Yes I am awesome like that :P