1. The time to do laundry is determined by the number of pairs of underwear you own.
2. Never ask a college student when they last did their laundry (there is no way they have that many pairs of underwear).
3. You know it's time to ask your room-mate to do the dishes when the stench reaches the bed room.
4. It's never your turn to do the dishes.
5. A shower lasting longer than 5 minutes is a momentous occasion.
6. A shower is an occasion.
7. Never call a person when you can see them on Google Talk (having to hear the other person's voice is over-rated).
8. Never ever text a person unless it's an emergency (email is cheaper).
9. If you see a third year student who does not look tired or even mildly pissed with life, you may assume either
a) he is smoking something you've heard makes life seem wonderful
b) he is a Business major
10. If you hear a third year student cribbing, you are allowed to zone out as long as you nod your head in regular intervals.
11. If you see a freshman cribbing, you may knock that kid on the head. Caveat: the kid has to be smaller than you.
12. You are required to act surprised at your 'surprise' birthday party. Even though you knew there was going to be a surprise party. Something's gotta be up when your friends suddenly seem to enjoy your company.
13. You are allowed to be offended if there was no surprise party. Even though you said you didn't want one, multiple times.
14. You can put a :( as your Facebook status message if you did not get any kind of party. Seriously, everyone deserves cake.
15. If you see a FB status message saying 'Person's_name is gay', then that person's got bored friends. And an unattended laptop. Change his computer clock to be one hour slower.
16. A handshake and a smile is the best way to avoid talking to someone.
17. Never stop to talk to someone if all you've got is 'What's up?'.
18. If you hear a Backstreet Boys' song playing from someone's laptop, you can loudly mock them (even though you are singing along in your head).
19. If a Backstreet Boys' song suddenly starts playing from your laptop, you can say 'How did that get in there?' and look around with a bemused smile. It's cool, we all know how it got in there.
20. Saying 'My Bad' absolves you of the bad you did. Really.