I present below some of the funniest (and stupidest quotes) I've heard since coming to college.
We are watching Dil Chahta Hai, and there is this scene where Dimple Kapadia gets a call from her ex-husband on her birthday.Her ex-husband informs her that her daughter will not be coming over to her house. Dimple then gets really upset and throws the champagne glasses on the ground and breaks them.
Dimple: Mere paas kuch nahin hai!
A friend of mine interjects with this gem:
R: Saari glass toot gayi!
We are sitting at Starbucks, drinking our overpriced 'Chai teas' and fancy frappucinos. No one is really talking and the mood is kind of boring. And then this happened:
AG: Hey who is going for Reggae Fest this weekend!
AL: Is Bob Marley going to be playing there?
A few friends of mine are trying to study in the study lounge. 'A' is really proud of the Rado watch that he possesses but never wears.
A: My Rado watch is an antique. My grandfather gave it to me a couple of weeks before he died. I guess he liked me the best.*smug look*
D(not taking his eyes off his book): Sell it on ebay
We are watching Lagaan and then this happens:
A: Aamir Khan is Muslim?
Me: What? Of course, you know, seriously you didn't know? How? It's Aamir KHAN like Shahrukh KHAN.
A: (Bewildered look) Shahrukh Khan is Muslim too?!
We've been waiting for our pizza for half an hour and so B decides to lighten the mood by saying a funny anecdote.
B: You know that the word 'boob' means to mess up, make a mistake.
Me: In what language?
B: English man.
B: Yea...so I had this Math professor, retired military guy, booming voice. So, once in class, he asked a girl a question and she gave the wrong answer. And he said, "haha you made a boob".
Me and the rest of the people at the table are still straight faced, waiting for the punchline.
B covers his face with his hand, 'Damn, that sounded funnier in my head'.
For an organization fair, we were planning to have a Dress like a South Asian stall.
A (trying to help me wear a dhoti): Spread your legs
Me: Thats what she said! Oh wait, no, that doesn't sound right....
I'm walking back to my apartment and on the way I see a friend. He is listening to his I-Pod.
Me : Hey!
C: Nothing Much
V calls a cab for Mrinalini.
V: Is this Austin Cab?
Operator: No. This is Yellow Cab.
V: Oh, awesome.
Operator: Where do you want to go?
V: Where do I want to go?
Mrinalini shouts the address.
V: (Says the address to the operator)
Operator: And your name?
V: You can call me MRI.
V: Yea, that could be a real name.Why are you laughing?
(I still do not understand how we were able to get a cab that night)
M: When I am drunk, I tend to frighten chicks away.
M: And when I'm sober...
Cricket match. Batsman hits the ball in the air and N tries to catch it but the wind makes the ball move a lot and he completely misses it.
N: Arrey yaar, I was like Hrithik Roshan in Khwaja Mere Khwaja there!
And to bring this post to a conclusion
We are learning how to say the time in Hindi:
Hindi professor: If it is 2:14 PM, you should always say it is 2:15 PM. There are two reasons for this.
Reason 1: If you say 2:14, no one will ever ask you the time again.
Reason 2: By the time you say 2:14 , it will already be 2:15 .