Tuesday, April 29, 2008

And now Sherry, Chika and Arun will take you through to the end of the game...

Navjot Singh Sidhu (NS), Arun Lal (AL) and Kris Srikkhant (KS) are in the commentary box and the Chennai Super Kings need 12 runs off the last over. The Super Kings are playing Kings XI Punjab and Brett Lee is ready to bowl the last over. M.S. Dhoni is on strike and at the non-striker's end stands Parthiv Patel.

AL: So, one over left and twelve runs to win. Brett Lee to bowl and the skipper of the Super Kings, Dhoni, is on strike. This is going to be close.

NS: Arun, this has the makings of a classic, I tell you. Dhoni has been cool as a cucumber so far and he's just got to see this game through.

AL: Yes indeed, Sherri, yes indeed.

KS: The Super Kings will win this game. You can hear the crowd shouting 'Jeetega Super Kings Jeetega'.

AL: Hmmm, I can't hear that chant, this is Mohali after all.

KS: Errr, still Super Kings will win because they aren't only Kings, they are also Super.

AL: So...Brett Lee is at the start of his run up and Dhoni takes his stance.

(Lee runs in and bowls one wide outside off stump, Dhoni slashes hard and the ball runs off to the third man boundary for four).

NS: Brilliant shot that, from the bat of the Indian Captain. He wields that bat like a mace, this Bheem from Jharkhand.

AL: Yes indeed, Sherri, that was well played. It's still an uphill task for the Super Kings though.

KS: Yaar the Super Kings have this game in the bag. Brett Lee is fast but Dhoni is faster…with the bat.

(Next ball is a fast yorker and Dhoni plays it back to the bowler. Lee stares back at Dhoni and the crowd roars).

AL: On the stumps that ball and Lee staring back at Dhoni. This game isn't over yet. 8 required off 4.

NS: Aggression, my friend, is the lifeblood of modern day Cricket.

KS: I remember when I used to open with Sunny; I would go slam-bam from the start. That was aggression, Sherri.

NS: Haha, yes. You would have been perfect for this, the short and sweet version of the game. By your own admission, you never really did last twenty overs when you played.

KS: Errr....

(Ball number 3 and Lee bowls a low full toss that is driven strongly by Dhoni to long off where Sreesanth stops the ball. He throws the ball back to the bowler with a cry of anguish. The batsmen think of two but the loud noise from Sreesanth distracts them and they settle for one).


AL: That was brilliantly struck but Sreesanth stops it. But wait, is he crying? Tears of joy perhaps, but he just stopped the ball.

KS: Even Sherri would have stopped that... on a good day.

NS: Haha Chika, I shall let that slide. Haha...Haha.

AL: Sreesanth is wired up. Let's talk to him directly. Sree, can you hear me?

Sreesanth: (Sniffs) Yes Arun.

AL: Why are you crying? The Super Kings haven't won yet.

Sreesanth: No it’s not that. When the ball hit my hand hard, it reminded me of the hard slap that my bada bhai, Bhajji, gave me.

NS: Sreesanth, strong men do not cry. You are playing for the Kings of Punjab, son, wipe away those tears and show the Sardar from Jalandhar that his slap was the sign of a coward.

Sreesanth: See, I also had this cold today morning...

KS: Maybe, Preity Zinta should give him a hug...

(3 balls left, 7 runs to win. Lee bowls a short ball and Patel tries to glide it over third man. The ball descends as Powar runs in from third man. He drops it and the Super Kings run two).

AL: Powar drops that one there and gives an easy two to the Super Kings. This is poor fielding; Powar should have caught that one. Catches win matches. This match is getting close now.

NS: Humpty Dumpty would have caught that one!

KS: Haha, humpty dumpty...

AL: Two balls to go and 5 runs needed. Parthiv Patel has a chat with Dhoni now and I bet they are discussing how to score those five runs. Two balls remaining.

NS: You can smell the tension! This is a game for the ages. Ice cool Dhoni sharing sage advice with the baby faced keeper from Gujarat.

KS: Did you know that Parthiv made his debut at the age of 17? That's just one year older than when Sachin made his debut, under me. I was the captain when Sachin made his debut.

NS: Yes we know Chika.

AL: Lee is now ready to bowl the 5th ball of the over, 5 to win.

(Lee bowls one wide and short and Parthiv cuts it hard over point and beats the despairing dive of James Hopes at the boundary).

KS: What a shot!

AL: Yes indeed Chika, that was cut over point splendidly.

NS: He may look like a kid but that shot packed so much punch, Muhammad Ali might have felt the sting.

AL: Yes that was splendidly cut, over the fielder at point.

KS: The cheerleaders are creating a good mood for the last ball now.

NS: Chika, the cheerleaders' skirts are like statistics. What they reveal is suggestive...but what they hide is essential! Haha!

AL: The Super Kings should win this as long as they avoid unnecessary run outs or shots in the air, unless of course the ball goes over the fielder's head.

NS: Arun, you are as redundant as a Congress politician.

AL: Yes indeed, Sherri.

(Last ball of the game. Lee bowls a slower one. Parthiv spots it and nudges the ball to Yuvraj at cover).

NS: Yuvraj runs towards the ball as if his life depends on it. Dhoni and Parthiv cross, Yuvraj ball in hand and shoots. Dhoni dives in as the ball crashes into the stumps.

(Square leg umpire Rudi Koertzen decides the batsman is not out).

NS: For a second I thought that the batsmen were committing Hara Kiri there, but Dhoni ran like a gazelle and made his ground. The dreaded finger of Rudi Koertzen stays down and the Super King juggernaut continues to roll.

AL: Yes indeed, this was a close game.

KS: Super game Arun!

4 comments:

OK said...

Awesome, man! I loved the Arun Lal bit. "Yes, indeed..." :).

Coconut Chutney said...

Sooper post! :D

I laughed out loud for everything Srikkanth said.
Oooh I loved that cheerleader's skirt line btw, lol.

And yeah, Chennai Super kings! We are not only kings, we are also super! :D

Good to see regularly-updating-funny-niyantha back.

More, more!
:)

Niyantha said...

@Ok,

Lol, the 'Yes indeed' that Arun Lal says all the time annoys me to no end.

@Coconut Chutney,

Thanks much. The skirt line is a Sidhu original, so is the 'Sardar from Jalandhar'. He gives a lot of phrases to play around with, no way would I be able to come up with the skirts statistics analogy on my own.

Vanilla Vats said...
This comment has been removed by the author.