Tuesday, January 31, 2006

A rendezvous with FAS

I had my first taste of the 12th standard board exams when I wrote the Physics practical examination on Monday. It was awesome; I got an easy experiment(Tangent galvanometer) and my result was only 0.4 Tesla away from the actual result. It wasn't easy all the way because my TG began to behave pretty weirdly as soon as I started doing my experiment. It gave me a diffference of 25 degrees between my two Θ(theta) values when it was actually supposed to be a difference of 1 degree. So you would probably understand the mental trauma that I went through having a malfunctioning instrument sitting before me and an unamused external examiner standing behind me. Luckily I a plan-B. I started fiddling with the connections and as soon as the examiner moved to the next hapless soul, I did what any sane twelfth standard student whose TG did not work would do. I wrote down the readings that I had memorised the previous day.Luckily the examiner forgot all about me and I didn't have to show to her how I got my almost perfect readings.

Today I had Chemistry practicals and it was equally awesome. I got a pale green salt and since I had mugged up the different combinations of salts that I could get, I figured out the salt exactly 33 and a half seconds after I saw it. My titration was ok. The dumb pipette tube offered almost no resistance to the FAS solution that I was trying to urunjify and so I had to taste that wonderfully yucky liquid for the fifth time this year. I also spilt the potassium permanganate solution on the floor because I forgot to close the burette. But apart form those slight mishaps, I did well.

Next up is Computer Science practicals and I am hoping that the examiner asks me some easy viva questions. If he doesn't, then I will have to resort to plan-B which is begging but I'm not a great fan of that, so fingers crossed.


P.S: Hope I get this program for the exam,

class twelve
{
for( ; ; )
{
System.out.println("Neon Rulz!");
}

}

Friday, January 27, 2006

It's just a dustbin!

Sometimes people can be so stupid. A few days ago, a fight broke out between my mom and two idiots who live in our adjacent road. The reason for the fight- a dustbin. Yes, a green Onyx dustbin,. The Onyx dustbin was placed in front of the compound wall of our house, right next to a tree. So, in the night, people tend to let loose aka urinate in the area behind the dustbin aka our compound wall. Now this happens to be a troubling problem because urine does not have a very pleasant fragrance. I have absolutely no respect for these miscreants because they quite plainly suck and I would strike them in their areas aka you-know-what if they weren’t bigger or stronger than me. Due to my inability to ward off the urinating dimwits, my mom pushed the dustbin a little farther away from tree hoping that this would stop people from ruining the smell of fresh air or rather the smell of the already polluted air.

This move of my mother’s received strong protest from the doctor opposite our house. I have never really liked that fellow and this time he proved himself to be an egoistic buffoon with the brain power of a smelly donkey. He claimed that the dustbin should not be pushed because he did not want to see it when he came out of his house. Now, that is what you call an argument. This was not said in a polite way, no it was quite the opposite of that. He made sure that his loud and stupid voice was heard all around the neighbourhood. He was also supported by the self-elected colony president who is also an equally enormous git. This guy actually plucked out the plants that had been planted in front of the tree and pushed the dustbin back to its original position. I seriously do not understand the problems of these idiots. So what if you see the dustbin when you walk out of the house and what the hell is the #$^%& problem of the colony president? Excuses like dustbins should be placed only at the corners of each road or my car will not be able to turn if the dustbin is 2 inches to the left of the tree is just grrrr!! I was unfortunate to not have seen these guys talk because I would have loved to say something incredibly weird to confuse them (though you could say 2+2=4 and that would confuse them). The awesome part was when the the doctor dude said, “Enna logic paesara?(What, you talking logic?)”. Heh, I wish someone urinated on him.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Dictionary

I was reading, "The Meaning of Liff", written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd the other day and the book inspired me to create my own book consisting of so-far-unkown words with their so-far-unknown meanings. It will be an incredibly weird collection and I hope to publish my dictionary temporarily titled, "Dictionary", by the time I am 33 years old (cos that's how long it will take to fill up five hundred pages with so-far-unknown words). I know that it will be impossible for me to complete the "Dictionary" by myself, so if any of you have any new words that have not been heard before, then drop them (with their meanings) in the comments box. Following this line is a preview of the book you can expect to see in the New York Times bestsellers list in another 16 years:

Aaadefu: The noise that one makes when he/she is punched in the stomach by a mentally deranged alcoholic seeking salvation.

Abedfore: The feeling of satisfaction one gets when he/she is knocked over by a bus.

Barezfeet: The amazing nature of a sock to change colour when it has not been removed off a person's leg for 7200 minutes.

Booperty: The destruction caused when a hippopotamus burps right after an intake of vodka.

Caishershlaudhen: A happy-go-lucky German who likes to eat peanuts for lunch.

Cojarda: A very soft piece of cloth that is dipped in mud to make it acquire an ancient look.

Diepschit: A man who falls into the Cooum river.

Diepshyt: A woman who falls into the Cooum river.

Doparte: A fancy term for 'Sod off, dung face!'

Eeler: A very handsome penguin.

Enuengo: The anger that one feels when he/she sees the bottom of a moist soap.

Fetera: The uncontrollable desire to cling on to a person selling cotton candy.

Feury: The back-side of a jelly fish.

Goprea: A fascinating piece of information that is of no use to anyone.

Hasap: The protective covering of a mp3 player.

Jetex: Fear of pink teddy bears.

Kresnick: The human equivalent of a smelly dog.

Laef: A term used to refer to people who like to drink a lot of juice.

Mokof: A very old diaper.

Neon: A term used to refer to awesome people.

Oqswgwjy: Unpronounceable words.

Perza: A wallet which has nothing but lint in it.

Rewery: A non-alcoholic beverage which has excess of distilled water in it. When consumed too much, it can make one feel wonderfully stupid.

Tumer: A person who considers God to be a multi-dimensional amphoteric compound.

Unuk: A pill used to make people talk sense when they are surrounded by zebras having self-esteem issues.

Vanderpo: An excuse to eat an overwhelming amount of cheese.

Xavior: An incessant need to dig one’s nose.

Zadaah: An exotic sound that one makes when he/she eats pistachio soufflé.

Zookli: A state of living where one needs to look at the toilet seat for four hours in order to attain mental peace and inner satisfaction. Bad breadth is a side effect.


P.S: Two down! Only 498 pages more to go!!