Monday, December 26, 2005

'Dancing is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.' Huh?

If there is one thing I really really want to learn and if there is one thing I am really really pathetic at, it is dancing. Yup, I wouldn't be able to dance even if you stuffed a bag of ice down my back - I would do an ugly jiggle, yea that I would do, but that's about it. I have no shame in saying that my coordination (when it comes to dancing) is similar to that of a squid on roller skates and I unfortunately came to know about this only when I was in the ninth standard. I used to believe in the Japanese proverb, ‘We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance’ and so during the disco night that we had during our school camp, I decided to join in with the rest of my classmates. Unlike me, they could actually dance. I was foolish enough to think that I could move my body and make others think that I was not having a fit. I didn't know any dance steps and so I jumped. Ya, jumped like a kangaroo till I realised that being a spectator would be a better option for me.

Unfortunately I have failed to grasp the art of dancing despite trying my hand at it a few times(including the time I had to dance for the school play; that sob story is for another day) and so yesterday, I decided that I would create my own steps. Yes, steps that would astound and amaze, fascinate and inspire, yes, that was my plan. And I decided to implement that plan in the bathroom. You've heard of bathroom singers, I'm a bathroom dancer. Sometimes you get so involved in something that you forget to think. I was so involved with my plan that I forgot that in a bathroom there is water and in a bathroom there is a floor. You put both of them together- you have a deadly combo. I put my foot on the wet floor, slipped and fell, pretty painfully, on the toilet.

Sadly, I had to figure out that dancing was never going to be my cup of tea, the hard way- with a sprained leg and bruised arm.


P.S: And to all the sadists out there, the toilet seat was closed!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here's a method to do a 'jhatka' in the bathroom.
1.put a piece of soap on the floor
2.grap hold the shower rod while puttin your feet on the bar of soap and move your feet on the soap bar.
There! If you cant dance pannify after this.......Oh god help this boy
-hobbes

Vishal said...

OUCHH... squid on roller skates.. LOOOL.. i shouldnt laf.. i couldnt dance to save my life.. :D

Siddhu said...

Welcome to the club, mate. I dance as terribly as a clubfoot too lol! ;)

Too bad the toilet seat was closed >:)

Madhuri said...

Your improvised dancing was the highlight of the whole play!

Neon said...

Hobbes,
I am not going to do any more dancing in the bathroom and definitely not when there's a bar of soap thrust into the equation!

Neon said...

Sidd and Vishal,
It's good to have company :)

Madhuri,
I said that sob story was for another day! And highlight of the play- well not for me :(

Antarius said...

u took all the fun away from us sadists..
Was the tiolet seat top weak???

Neon said...

Nope it wasn't!

u took all the fun away from us sadists..
It's my pleasure ;)

Manasi Subramaniam said...

Oh, you mean dancing doesn't run in the family?

Neon said...

Umm...not really.

joeprehiem7622 said...

I read over your blog, and i found it inquisitive, you may find My Blog interesting. My blog is just about my day to day life, as a park ranger. So please Click Here To Read My Blog

Ghost Particle said...

Happy New Year bro. May god bless you and your family. May all your wishes come true this new year.

Neon said...

Thanks a lot gp! And New Year wishes to you too!