Saturday, October 29, 2005

Shopping Theorems

Shopping for clothes is an ordeal especially when you go to a factory outlet three days before Deepavali. It is also an annoying experience when the shop employees who are supposed to be helping you find the right clothes, act like almighty snobs. I had taken three shirts into the dressing room but I was called out and scolded for taking too many clothes in. I took three shirts! Into a dressing room! They said that I could try out only one shirt and see whether it fits. They felt that if I tried out anymore clothes, they would in some inconceivable way be losing out on business. It is an interesting argument. The more number of clothes you try on, the less you'll buy a k a the idiot’s inverse theorem. If it makes sense to any of you, please explain their logic to this unfortunate ignoramus.

So, left with no choice, I took one shirt in and fortunately it fit. I rejected the other two shirts and the, ahem, helper guy gave me an ugly stare which I joyfully returned. I asked him to guide me to the Formals section and he made a valiant attempt to smile mockingly at me (He looked as if he was having gastric problems). He, like many others, failed to realise the fact that I was 16 years old. So he asked me, “Are you shopping for your father?” Old memories came flooding back into my mind but I managed to push them away. I just nodded; felt that there was no use contradicting a doof. Buying formals was even more difficult because I could try out only two pants and this being the first time I was buying formal pants, I wanted more choice. Well anyway, I finished my shopping and took out my wallet to pay the bill and I noticed the whooping 30% discount on all the clothes. An awesome sight. Yes, it was a factory outlet and an unfriendly one at that, but still 30% discount! All this made me formulate my own set of theorems:

1. The worse the helper guys are, the bigger the discounts.
2. My age is inversely proportional to my physical appearance.
3. And of course, bigger the purchase, lighter the wallet :(

31 comments:

Camphor said...

1. You could so your shopping about a month in advnce if you need polite salepersons, and I suspect they don't want shirts flicked. You do know that you could try out one, wear the second under your original shirt, and walk out, and at a factory outlet sales, no one can figure it out?

2. *patpat*

3. Too true.

Manasi Subramaniam said...

Why on earth do you do your shopping alone? I cannot shop alone for peanuts. Well, I hate shopping, really, so I cannot even shop too well in the best of company. Still... shopping alone is the very worsht of it all. But congratulations, child, you braved it. :-)

p.s. It usually gives me a major kick in most shops to fish out my wallet and pay for stuff like I'm a man of the world.

Manasi Subramaniam said...

Er... woman of the world.

Neon said...

Camphor,
1. You could so your shopping about a month in advnce if you need polite salepersons, and I suspect they don't want shirts flicked. You do know that you could try out one, wear the second under your original shirt, and walk out, and at a factory outlet sales, no one can figure it out?
Well in that case, I'm just glad that there werem't any surveilance cameras inside the dressing room.

Neon said...

Manasi,
This happened to be the first time that I went shopping alone. The best part of shopping alone is that I can spend as much time as I want uhh trying out one shirt and two pants without any hury.

Leon said...

Obnoxious shop attendants bother me to no end. The malls here are so much better in that regard which is probably why shopping is so popular here..

Happy Diwali..

Neon said...

Thanks and Happy Deepavali to you too Leon :)

Gaya said...

I prefer shopping alone, my mum is terribly impatient n so are most of my friends... I take ages to pick stuff. Neway, Happy Diwali!! :D

Vishal said...

hehe one stop shoppper here ... but shoppin alone rox!!/

1 said...

what r u doing

2 said...

browsing

1 said...

what did u eat

2 said...

crackers

1 said...

which brand

2 said...

cock...

Anonymous said...

colour?

2 said...

colourless

1 said...

what is ur favourite color

1 said...

what is ur favourite color

2 said...

redd...

1 said...

FAVOURITE FOOD

2 said...

chilled monkey brain and grilled elephant

1 said...

WHAT ELSE

2 said...

humans

Anonymous said...

r u a cannibal

1 said...

why

2 said...

when

1 said...

stupid

2 said...

wish u the same,bye

Vishal said...

hmmm i thot this was family portal..,hehe

Neon said...

Who wrote that crap!!!!!!!!! It will take so much time to delete it too! Idiot!

Vishal,
I thought so too :(