Shopping for clothes is an ordeal especially when you go to a factory outlet three days before Deepavali. It is also an annoying experience when the shop employees who are supposed to be helping you find the right clothes, act like almighty snobs. I had taken three shirts into the dressing room but I was called out and scolded for taking too many clothes in. I took three shirts! Into a dressing room! They said that I could try out only one shirt and see whether it fits. They felt that if I tried out anymore clothes, they would in some inconceivable way be losing out on business. It is an interesting argument. The more number of clothes you try on, the less you'll buy a k a the idiot’s inverse theorem. If it makes sense to any of you, please explain their logic to this unfortunate ignoramus.
So, left with no choice, I took one shirt in and fortunately it fit. I rejected the other two shirts and the, ahem, helper guy gave me an ugly stare which I joyfully returned. I asked him to guide me to the Formals section and he made a valiant attempt to smile mockingly at me (He looked as if he was having gastric problems). He, like many others, failed to realise the fact that I was 16 years old. So he asked me, “Are you shopping for your father?” Old memories came flooding back into my mind but I managed to push them away. I just nodded; felt that there was no use contradicting a doof. Buying formals was even more difficult because I could try out only two pants and this being the first time I was buying formal pants, I wanted more choice. Well anyway, I finished my shopping and took out my wallet to pay the bill and I noticed the whooping 30% discount on all the clothes. An awesome sight. Yes, it was a factory outlet and an unfriendly one at that, but still 30% discount! All this made me formulate my own set of theorems:
1. The worse the helper guys are, the bigger the discounts.
2. My age is inversely proportional to my physical appearance.
3. And of course, bigger the purchase, lighter the wallet :(