Say Cheese!

What is it that always prevents me from having a proper photo taken of myself? All my passport sized photos have me scowling or tight lipped or giving a toothy grin which makes me look so alarmingly stupid. I can look nice in a photo- but the catch is that I shouldn't know that I'm being photographed. Since that never happens, I'm stuck with these terribly dumb pics. For my 12th standard hall ticket, I had to submit two passport sized photos to my teacher. I always feel that you do your board exams better if the picture in your hall ticket makes you feel assured and comforted (I had to keep my tenth standard hall ticket upside down to prevent myself from getting goosebumps). So I decided that I would go to the Kodak shop near my house and take a proper photo of myself for a change. I go into the dingy studio, look at my handsome self in the mirror and practise my smile much to the amusement of the photographer. Now, I've always considered these passport sized photo taking people to be big show-offs, always commenting about how my smile is weird and other such stuff. This guy wasn't any different. He asked me to sit on the broken stool and position myself properly. I was like "position myself? Huh?" and he was bright enough to notice my apparent ignorance in ‘positioning’ myself.

He pointed out to me that my hairstyle looked sick and advised me to do a middle parting similar to his. I kindly turned down his advice and asked him to take the photo quickly. He asked me to straighten my head. I lifted my head up with a sudden motion and this amused him. "Hahaha" he laughed annoyingly. In order to irritate him I went "Hehehehehehehehehehe" and he didn't appreciate that. He asked me to tilt my head towards the right but slightly to the left, little up, little down and straighten my back while crouching a little. Once I had sat in the right 'position' he asked me to smile. I honestly tried to, but I couldn't. I was surprised that I could still breathe, considering the uncomfortable 'position' I was in. He chuckled again at my lack of expression and I really wanted to strike him between his legs. He clicked the button thingy on his camera and the flash blinded me. By the time I had recovered my eye-sight, he had left.

The next day, I saw the photo and gasped. In the picture one of my eyes was closed and my mouth was wide open. Since I had buried my previous photos, I had to submit this one to my teacher. You should have seen the glee on her face when she saw my photo. So now I am forced to behave well in class, or else, I will have to face grave consequences like humiliation in front of my classmates!! I have still not stopped my search for that photographer though, and when I do, he isn't going to have a lot to smile about. We'll see who says "Cheeese" then. Hahahahahahaha!