I've been having exams for the last week or so, and I've had to encounter a major problem - How to kill time once you've finished your exam one and a half hours before you are allowed to leave the classroom. I try to sleep but that never works cos the table is too bumpy. I try to look outside the door but there's nothing interesting ever happening. So, I open my pencil box and look for something to play with. I take out my compass and start poking my rubber until it is reduced to shreds. Then I take out my sharpener, put it on my scale and bang it so that it flies up and I can have some catching practice. But the fact is, the scale also flies up and falls down with a huge clatter which somehow doesn't amuse the invigilator. My pencil box was made in China(isn't everyone's?) and so it has the multiplication table written in Chinese on the inside of the lid. So I try deciphering that but I get bored in a couple of minutes. So I go back to the sleeping plan. I place my head normal to the plane of the bumpy surface, at an angle of 33 degrees to the depression which is parallel to the bumps yet inclined at an angle of 65 degrees to the dustbin which is north west to the table at a distance well suited to throw waste paper with minimum effort. By the time I position my head perfectly, the invidgulator drops a piece of twine on my head and I need to get up and tie my answer sheets. After that I just don't feel like going through the whole process of lying down and so I pick up my scale and try to split the head of the guy sitting in front of me into two by experimenting with the laws of refraction. After all this, there is still one more hour left and I am left wondering why I must suffer, even after finishing the exam.
This is a very troubling time for me and if any of you have any suggestons that would help me escape this predicament, please do tell. If any of your ideas work, I shall give you 680.007 Romanian Leis (it's money, not chips, if you're wondering). It's a lot of money(I beg you not to check a currency converter), so get working!