I am a member of Planetcricket.net which is a website for Cricket gaming freaks like me. One of the members had started a team called Planetcricket Rockers and I was selected in the final 12 for our inaugural match against the World XI (For more info, click on this link). Few of the players started posting imaginary interviews and I thought "What the heck, lets post one too." But I ended up doing two interviews. I’ve posted the transcript of my 2 interviews here. Ensaay!
Neon is leaving to England from the Chennai airport when he spots Navjot Singh Sidhu jostling his way towards him.
Sidhu: Hello Neon! I am Navjot Sidhu and I would like to interview you for NDTV 24X7 before you leave for England to make your debut for the hottest new team around.
Neon: Err...Ok then...I guess
Sidhu: That’s wonderful, my little friend. How do you plan to tackle the brute pace of Brett Lee, the brilliant accuracy of Glen McGrath and the guile of Shane Warne?
Neon: With my bat.
Sidhu: Ahhaha Neon, you seem to be pretty confident. So do you know how the Lords wicket is gonna play. Pitches are like wives my friends, you never know which way they turn.
Neon: Uhhh..I'll remember that. I really gotta get going.
Sidhu: Ahh yes. The pressures of playing one day cricket. Time waits for no one.
Neon: I guess so. I ....
Sidhu: So tell me Neon, who are you gonna target while you are bowling.
Neon: If I get selected in the main eleven, I will...
Sidhu: Now listen to me Neon, If ifs and buts were pots and pans, then there would be no tinkers.
Sidhu: Ahh, the innocence of youth. Let me give you one piece of advice. You guys have to play as a cohesive unit. You must gel together. Out think the opposition. Play with a killer instinct. The World XI batsmen are like bicycles in a cycle stand - one falls down and the complete row will be down! So remember, my friend, age and agility is on your side. You can rule the roost. Play your natural game. It’s very important that you score runs and take wickets in your first outing because statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
Hey, Neon,... Neon.. Are you sleeping, .. Arey...wake up...you are going to miss your flight. An Air India flight waits for no one, my friend.
Neon manages to escape from Sidhu but is caught by Kris Srikkhant who too wants to interview him for Fourth Umpire.
Kris: So Neon, how are you feeling now? Goin to play your first match. I remember when I played my first match. I was nervous. But Kapil bhai gave me confidence. "Natural game khelanga" he said to me. I still remember the first ball I faced...
Neon: I am very sorry, Mr. Srikkhant, but I have to catch my flight.
Kris: Enna periya podalanga flight. If one goes, another one will come. Airport has to make money no? So tell me, what is your age?
Kris: Did you know that I was the captain when Sacheen made his debut at the age of 16?
Neon: Yes, you've told that many many times before whenever you come on TV.
Kris: I shaped his career. He came to me when he was raw. I polished him. Made him the best batsman in the world.
Kris: The world XI is a good team. Are you confident of picking up some wickets?
Neon: Yes. Why not?
Kris: Why not? Because you are an ondranna bowler. Gilchrist will put the ball on top of the roof.
Neon: Why? Is he afraid of it or something?
Kris: No. I am saying he will hit a six.
Neon: Oh. It’s the final boarding call for me. I'll see you later.
Kris: Wait Neon. Don't you have anything to say to the viewers?
Neon: You have viewers?
Kris: You know, you are acting little too much here.
Neon: Sorry Chika. Umm Viewers, as Srikkhant advised me I will "natural game khelanga" and you also "natural game khelanga". Let us all"natural game khelanga". Bye Chika.
Neon runs into the aeroplane.
Kris: So my dear viewers, you have seen Neon just leaving for England. Undoubtedly he has a lot of potential. But if he follows my advice, he will become the next Sacheen. He will become a "Superb" batsman. Back to you Charu in the studio.
Charu: Srikkhant is so amazing.
Roshni Chopra: Chika is so great.
Atul Wassan: Does anyone have parachute coconut oil? My hair has lost some moisture.