Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Computerji, please lock the answer

AB: Hello and welcome to Kaun Banega Crorepati 2. This time the show is bigger and better and we're giving away a maximum of 2 crore ruppees! Without further adieu, lets get on with the show. To decide who comes to the hot seat, we hill play "Fastest Finger First". Whoever gets the answer correct in the shortest time possible will get to play KBC 2 with me. First let me introduce the contestants.

"Mucus Mather from Kolkata" (Mucus Mather starts digging his nose)


"Iveghotta Pyss fom Haryana" (Iveghotta Pyss starts .... ahem to look uncomfortable)

"Whasthat Shmell from Kerala" (Whasthat Shmell looks at Iveghotta Pyss with disgust)

"Wheresthe Water from Chennai" (Wheresthe Water's tongue hangs out as he looks at Iveghotta Pyss")

"Chandra Mukhi from Vijayanagar" (Chandra Mukhi starts rolling her eyes)

"Bhalding Hed from Bangalore" (Bhalding Hed combs his ... scalp profusely)

Please give the contestants a big hand. Thank you, thank you. Now lets go and play Fastest Finger First. Cmon!

Arrange these letters in alphabetical order:
A) A
B) B
C) C
D) D

Your time's up. Now lets see who is the winner. Uhh, no correct answer... Well, then the person who got the wrong answer in the shortest time gets to sit on the hot seat. And that person is
IVEGHOTTA PYSS from Haryana! Give it up from him.

(Iveghotta Pyss trudges his way towards the Hot Seat as security guards hold on to Wheresthe Water who apparently is feeling very thirsty.)

So Iveghotta Pyss, you've made it to the hot seat!

IP: This seat doesn't feel too hot.

AB: What will you use the money for if you win?

IP: I plan to build a restaurant.

AB: What are you going to call it?

IP: Pyssa Hut

AB: Guess you won’t have any problem with the plumbing (No one laughs).Shall we start KBC 2?

IP: Okay.

AB: Are you excited?

IP: (looking really pained) Will you bloody get on with it?

AB: You seem uncomfortable. Do you want some water?

IP: If I have any more water, the Hot Seat will become a Wet seat.

AB: Uhh.. Okay then. Your first question is

Who is the current Prime Minister of India?
A) Manmohan Singh B) Sachin Tendulkar

C) Sanmohan Mingh D) Tachin Sendulkar

IP: Why such a tough question? I dont know the answer,

AB: You can use your lifelines.

IP: Give me 50-50.

AB: 50-50? Hmmm (scratches his beard). Okay two answer choices have been removed.

A)Manmohan Singh

D) Tachin Sendulkar

IP: Inky Pinky Ponky Father had a donkey, Father died donkey cried, Inky Pinky Ponky. Answer is A.

AB: Are you sure?

IP: Yesss...

AB: Confident?

IP: Yesss...

AB: Shall I lock the answer?

IP: Do you want me to slap you?

AB: Uhhh… You are right. The answer is A) Manmohan Singh. You have won Rs.1000.

IP: Next question...

AB: For Rs. 3000

In which movie did the song "Kaho Naa Pyar Hai" come?
A) Kuch Kuch Hota Hai B) Kaho Naa Pyar Hai

C) Kisna D) Kaal

IP: What is wrong with you? Give me some easy questions kno? I want audience poll.

AB: Okay audience, it looks like Iveghotta Pyss needs your help. Please use the high tech fancy gadget in front of you and select what you think is the right answer.

Iveghotta Pyss, the audience poll result is as follows:

A)Kuch Kuch Hota Hai 0% B)Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai 100%

B)Kisna 0% D)Kaal 0%

IP: Its tough. But I’ll go with (closes his eyes and points his finger on the screen) B!

AB: Are you su..( AB looks at IP's stare and ..) So computerji lock the answer. You are right. The answer is B.

IP: Good.

AB: Sing that song for us now. It isn't good enough for you to give only the right answer(Smiles)

IP: If you don’t get on with the show, I’ll shave your beard.

AB: Whats the hurry, Iveghotta Pyss? In fact, we will take a commercial break right now. Viewers stay tuned.

Commercial break: Kajaria Tiles-Man has an affair with his floor;

AB: Welcome back. Iveghotta Pyss is on the hot seat and he’s made Rs.3000 so far. Mr.Pyss, I though I would ask you this question before we move on to the serious stuff. You don’t get any money for this, but this question has been troubling me for quite some time. “What came first, the chicken or the egg?”(Smiles cunningly)

IP: Arey stupid fool, whatever you ordered first came first.

AB: Oh. Ok, your next question for Rs.5000 is

What is the minimum age required for a person to vote?

A)19 B)17

C)20 D)18

IP: Oh God. I want to call my brother.

AB: You are using the Call A Friend lifeline. What is your brother’s name?

IP: Bladdher Phull.

AB makes the phone call.

AB: Hello? Bladdher Phull?

BP: Yes.

AB: This is Amitabh Bachchan and your brother needs your help to answer a question.

IP: Hello Bladdher, what is the minimum age required for a person to vote?
BP: I don’t know. I’ve never voted before.

IP: Ok, bye.

AB: So Iveghotta Pyss, whats your ans…

This telecast has been stopped because Iveghotta Pyss has been attacked by Wheresthe Water. We are sorry for the inconvenience. We will now be showing you the documentary, “The Preparation of Ethoxy Ether” hosted by Diana Hayden. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

9 comments:

Leon said...

How do you think up this stuff??? lol..

hilarious.. :-)

Neon said...

Thanks Leon!

Gaya said...

LMAO!! brilliance :D

Anonymous said...

I think you should send this to print - nice parody and very imaginative.

Aditya said...

More of these please! First the interview by the crickets, now the KBC 2! You're doing great!!!

Neon said...

Thanks gaya! Thanks anonymous! Thanks Aditya! I'm published! Yay!

Siddhu said...

HILARIOUS!! =))

btw, whats ethoxy ether?

Neon said...

Its a chemical name I heard while sleepin in Chemistry class.

freespirit said...

roflmao..totally hilarious and..god bless the dear old chemistry teacher..who shall go unnamed..due to uhmm..previous mishaps :P:P..