To read part 1, click here
Back to the koovam shore
Hero: Ahh, Aaya took my breath away-literally! She was the person I needed in my life. That special woman who would make my life ... uhhh.. ahh yes, special! Then one day, something happened, something that made me realise how much I loved Aaya.
9 and a half days ago
Our hero is standing guard outside a public toilet when he sees the heroine walking towards him.
Heroine: Hello Azhukku!
Hero: Long time, no see.
Heroine: Stupid! It is A-B-C !
Heroine: I was cleaning the toilet in Cafe Coffee Day when I saw you through the ventilator window. Do you want to (blushes) clean with me?
Hero: (Blushes) I would love to, but I can't. The Chief Minister is coming this way and he makes his routine toilet stop here. I have to make sure that no one pollutes this toilet. Duty calls.
Heroine: Well okay then. I will miss you.
Suddenly an ONYX lorry coming that way crashes into Aaya who hits an ONYX dust bin, flies up and falls into the garbage in the ONYX lorry. Azhukku looks at this in horrified silence. The lorry does not stop. Azhukku begins to run after the lorry. All this is shown in slow motion. Azhukku leaps into the garbage and manages to catch hold of Aaya.
Hero: Oh Aaya! Don’t leave me. I must not cry. I will not cry.
Heroine: Hey! You’re ruining my punch dialogue for the climax! Stop crying.
Hero: I’m not. It must be the effect of these rotten onions. Don’t leave me Aaya!
Aaya is admitted in GH. She survives and there is a close-up shot of Azhukku hugging the Harpic bottle in joy. The audience goes Awww.
Back to koovam shore
Hero: Everything was working for me and I couldn’t have been happier when disaster struck. This is how it happened.
7 days ago
Hero: Life is so beautiful! So so beautiful! Oh I’m so…
Hey! You there! What are you doing! Get away from my toilet!
The man tries to run but Azhukku holds on to his lungi.
Hero: You’ve been cleaning my toilet with Barpick!!! You scoundrel!
Azhukku punches the man. The man quite cleverly takes of his lungi and makes his escape. Like in older films, where the Sari of the heroine changes colour in the fantasy songs, the colour of the man’s underwear is shown changing as he runs away from Azhukku. Azhukku looks at the underwear in amazement and stands transfixed. By the time, Azhukku comes back to his senses, the man catches a share auto, haggles and escapes.
Hero: What kind of an ass cleans toilets with Barpick!!!
Villain: I do! (Villain is a thin man with a mop on his head making him look evil)
Hero: Who are you?
Villain: I am the boss of Tigerbaam, the man you just slapped.
Hero: You’re the boss of that git.
Villain: Yes, I am. My name is Potty-ya. I am a Barpick door-to-door salesman and my apprentice was just giving you a demo when you slapped him.
Hero: Anyone who uses Barpick is an idiot and I’ll slap you too if you don’t run away now.
Villain: So you want to be my enemy. You are going to pay for this. I shall soon make Chennai buy only Barpick!
To be continued...