Wednesday, July 27, 2005

To distorate or not to distorate? That is the question!

Somehow I end up with really weird chemistry tuition teachers. Last year, I had a tuition teacher called Vairamuthu. He was an incredibly irritating guy who spoke horrible horrible English. I wouldn't have minded if he had taught me in Tamil but he decided to impress me with his English speaking skills. I quickly found out that he didn't have any such skills cos his first question to me was "Which school you?". I decided to let that go but the English that followed was even worse. I don't remember what he was teaching me but I very vividly remember this sentence, "The band (bond) is going into the distoration." When I asked him to repeat, he said "Distorate boy. Break you know. Distorating." Not only had he created a new word he had given it tense forms too! There was a scientist called Heitler in the book and the name is supposed to be pronounced Hytler. This guy pronounced it as Hitler and I was wondering for the rest of the class how Hitler had the time to think of Chemical bonding when he was busy killing people. He also had the interesting habit of burping every few minutes. He would go "burp, burp,burp...BURP.. so you see the distoration..BURP". He would also turn his head ninety degrees while watching me demystify his notes in my notebook. But the thing that irritated me most was his incessant need to make marks with a pen on my textbook. Every line of text in my text book would have scratches, blots or dots. I have a weird condition. I cannot sit still when a person makes my well-preserved book look like its third-hand. So I used to sway angrily to and fro trying to stop myself from grabbing the pen from his hand and making a dent on his head. I didn't study the last chapter in my book because he had covered my pages with ugly rangolis.

After all the mental distoration I had suffered I felt I had had enough. So I ditched him. My new Chemistry teacher is a lot better but ten times slower. He enunciates each word and makes sure that I say "I understand" after every line. He comes to my house at 8PM and leaves at 9.30PM but he doesn't know that I am asleep from 9 to 9.30. I have managed to sleep and say "I understand" simultaneously thereby making the one and a half hour experience more tolerable. In my previous class, he started making dots on my book. I got reminded of the past and I began to sway to and fro. He saw me doing this, taught that I was having a fit and left saying he will come back after I became alright. I feel that the only major difference between my two tuition experiences is that I thought the first teacher was a lunatic while the second teacher thinks that I am a lunatic.

17 comments:

scooby said...

you seem too brilliant to hav a tuition

Neon said...

Uhh..thanks i guess...

abberanti said...

Why has education made you so slow? Do you keep saying what all the time?

deviant said...

don't you know what is fnord? please come again, click on the link, and all will be revealed, slowly.

i_thEndhEe_ti_cry_cisCo said...

i wonder how they figured out ur brilliant????the curve of ur eyes?the slant of ur nose..cos thats all i can see...or maybe the fact that u caught on to distorate?that must be it....

Neon said...

I think it must be the colour of the pillow which gives the impression that Im brilliant.

Neon said...

Deviant and Aberranti,
The link for 2 posts aren't wworkin on ur blog. Thats why I couldnt understand anything. And I don't think education has made me slow. Or maybe it has? Who cares anyway!

Siddhu said...

Lol! Tuition at home, uh? Maybe that's why u get such characters. Cuz my chem tuition teacher ROCKED! I lovd chem bcuz of her, and she was quite disappointed when I didn't do as well as her other DAV proteges who scored 98 and 99.

Actually, so was I.

Btw, do ask that guy in ur school who played Osama (or whoever else that was supp to be) in ur school, if it was really Arabic! Lol! I'm still laughing at that... Made up for an otherwise highly substandard competition. :(

Leon said...

Hi,

Amusing reading.. I've had loads of similar experiences at school.. :-)

Btw, may I draw your attention to your usage of "taught" towards the end of the post?.. :p

Neon said...

Thanks Siddhu. The Osama guy was Ajay Rao. He is a damn good actor but it wasn't arabic he was speaking, just sounded a lot like it!

Neon said...

Thanks Leon and I did notice the wrong usage at the end of the post but I forgot to remove it. Thanks for mentioning it. I'll change it asap.

Siddhu said...

Lol! Sounded uncivilized enough to be arabic, anyway. LOL. oops sounds racist.

Bhå®àth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bhå®àth said...

lol!my chem teacher tries to use sophisticated words and he ends up pronouncing and spelling it wrong!hes pretty good and he doesn't burp
BK

Harish said...

and this is why u need a chemistry teacher like Sush in Main Hoon Na..

sighhhh

Neon said...

There wouldnt be any chance of falling asleep then!

Kanishkaa said...

I never like chem.opted for commerce instead.how on earth did u put up with that wierdo?!!self study seems far better.